I think my son is watching porn. What should I do?

Hi there,  

Thank you for contacting ask Robyn with this. We know this can be a hard and awkward conversation to have with a young person, so it is good that you have reached out. We wonder is there something that specifically happened that has brought this to your attention? Maybe you saw something on a web history or it has come up in conversation with other parents. 

Firstly, it is important that your son doesn’t feel ashamed of masturbation, acknowledge it is normal for young people and that this is okay, so they don’t feel that they have done something wrong. There is an article on our Childline website that you may find helpful in guiding this conversation: www.childline.ie/lets-talk-about-masturbation/ 

Addressing the conversation about porn can add another layer of complexity, you may not know what he has been watching or has seen online and it is really hard to have enough safety if he is accessing porn online. It is important that he is aware that what he is watching is by actors and not a real-life scenario. It may also be worth having a conversation here around body image and acknowledging everyone’s body is different and quite likely not similar to what he has seen on porn websites. Another area to discuss with porn is around consent and sex. Sometimes porn websites show scenarios that may not highlight the importance of consent, so it is important that this is something that he is aware of. We have another article on our Childline website that can also support this conversation: www.childline.ie/sex-and-consent/ 

Here are some further articles that can support the conversation around porn: childmind.org/article/how-to-talk-to-teenagers-about-porn/ 

jigsaw.ie/how-to-talk-about-porn/ 

Thanks so much again for reaching out, we hope you have found this helpful. If you would like to talk more about this, you can contact ISPCC’s Support Line which can be contacted by email to [email protected] or by phone from Monday to Friday 9am – 1pm on 01 522 4300  

Take care,   

Robyn