Welcome to Ask Robyn

Welcome to our Ask Robyn service, and thank you for getting in touch about your son’s wish to walk to school independently.

It can be lovely to see children beginning to ask for more independence, although it can also leave us wondering when they are genuinely ready for it. Seeing his friends walking without their parents may understandably make your son feel that he is ready too. However, every child’s circumstances are different, and the route they need to travel is an important part of the decision.

In your son’s case, the busy road you have described is particularly important to consider.

Putting road safety first

At 7 years old, your son is still developing the skills needed to judge traffic safely.

The Road Safety Authority advises that children under 12 do not yet have the skills and experience required to interact safely with traffic on their own. In particular, their ability to judge the speed and distance of vehicles is still developing. Therefore, the RSA recommends that children under this age have an adult’s help when walking and crossing roads.

This means that although your son may feel confident about the route, continuing to accompany him is an appropriate safety measure rather than a reflection of whether you trust him.

Building independence while staying safe

Fortunately, independence does not have to mean doing the entire journey alone. We can gradually give children more responsibility while remaining close enough to keep them safe.

Some practical ideas that may help include:

• Continue walking the route together and involve your son in making road safety decisions by asking him to identify where it is safest to stop, look, listen and cross.
• Gradually give him responsibility for parts of the journey that are safe while you remain nearby and continue to supervise the busy road crossing.
• Talk through unexpected situations, such as what he should do if a friend does not arrive, if the usual crossing is unavailable or if something makes him uncomfortable on the way.
• If appropriate, explore whether walking with a responsible adult and a small group of friends could give him some of the social experience he wants while maintaining adult supervision.

Helping him understand the decision

Your son may still feel disappointed when some of his friends are allowed to walk without an adult. It can help to acknowledge this while explaining that families sometimes make different decisions based on children’s ages, individual routes and the roads they need to cross.

Rather than telling him that he is not old enough to be trusted, you could focus on the specific safety issue. You can also let him know that you will continue helping him practise the skills he will eventually need to make the journey more independently.

In this way, the answer is not simply no. It becomes something he is actively learning and preparing for.

Practising for the future

Walking to school together provides regular opportunities to teach road safety in a real setting. You could occasionally ask your son to guide you through the journey, explaining where he thinks you should walk, where it is safest to cross and what he needs to check before crossing.

The RSA’s Safe Cross Code and other road safety resources for primary school children can also help reinforce these skills.

If you would like to discuss this or another parenting concern, our Support Line is open Monday to Friday from 9:00am to 1:00pm on 01 5224300. You can also email [email protected].

Your son can also contact Childline’s 24 hour confidential, non judgemental and anonymous service if there is ever something on his mind that he would like to talk about.

Thank you for reaching out to Ask Robyn. Please take care of yourself as you support your son in developing his confidence and independence safely.

Robyn