Your Question
I caught my daughter (13) taking pictures of herself naked. I’m worried that if she does this in my house where her parents are there what kind of things she’s doing when we’re not there, I really hope she’s not sexually active but how can i have this conversation with her
Answer
Hi there, and thank you for contacting Ask Robyn,
This sounds like a very difficult situation to encounter. It is important to have a supportive conversation with your daughter where she does not feel judged and is reassured that she is not in trouble. Communicate to your daughter that you love her and that it is your duty as a parent to keep her safe.
How would you feel about exploring with your daughter why she has taken these images and allowing her the time and space to have this conversation?
It may also be important to ask your daughter whether she has shared these intimate images with anyone and to discuss with her the possible consequences if she has. Having a conversation about online safety is also crucial in this situation.
You also mentioned being concerned about whether she is sexually active. Have you had a conversation with your daughter about puberty, peer pressure, relationships, and keeping herself safe?
There are many different elements to this conversation, and it might be best to talk with her over multiple occasions. Your daughter might become angry or upset when you start these conversations. Acknowledge these feelings, allow her the space to express them, and try to remain calm. If you need to revisit the conversation at a later stage, that is okay.
Have you spoken to anyone about what you witnessed and explored your own feelings around this? Allowing yourself the space to do this will support you in talking to your daughter about this difficult topic. You might find it helpful to have a plan or even role-play the conversation with someone you trust.
Our ISPCC Parenting Hub can also offer advice on how best to support your daughter and have these conversations about puberty, relationships, and more. You can find out more here: ispcc.ie/
If you would like further support or wish to discuss any of the above in more detail, you can access the ISPCC Support Line Service on 01 522 4300, Monday to Friday, 9:00 AM – 1:00 PM.
Childline.ie is also available to your child. They can contact our freephone service at 1800 66 66 66 or chat with us through our webchat service by clicking the Live Chat Online tab on www.childline.ie. There are many articles on the Childline website around Online Safety which you may like to read through together.
Thank you for getting in touch, best wishes,
Robyn
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