Welcome to Ask Robyn

Welcome to our Ask Robyn service, and thank you for reaching out about supporting your young person.

Identity can include many different parts of who we are, including our personality, interests, values, culture, relationships, gender and sexuality. As children grow, it is natural for them to think about who they are and to explore different aspects of their identity. (ispcc.ie⁠)

You do not need to have every answer in order to create a supportive home environment. Often, how we respond to the conversation can matter just as much as what we know.

Listen with curiosity

When your young person raises questions, try to give them room to explain what they are thinking and feeling without making assumptions about where the conversation is going.

They may be looking for information, trying to understand themselves, or simply wanting to know that it is safe to talk with you.

If they ask something you genuinely do not know, it is okay to say that you are unsure and that you can learn more. This can show them that difficult or unfamiliar subjects do not have to end a conversation.

Let them set the pace

Exploring identity can take time. Your young person may feel certain about some things and unsure about others, and how they describe themselves may develop as they learn more about who they are.

Try not to pressure them to choose a label or explain themselves before they are ready. Instead, focus on making home a place where questions and conversations are welcomed.

Some ways to support this include:

• Listen without interrupting and ask what kind of support they would like from you.
• Respect their privacy while making it clear that you remain available to talk.
• Learn about topics they raise using reliable, age appropriate sources rather than expecting them to educate you.
• Continue showing interest in all aspects of who they are, rather than allowing one part of their identity to become the focus of every conversation.

Creating a safe place to be themselves

ISPCC guidance encourages parents and carers to value what is unique about their child, acknowledge what they communicate without judgement and support age appropriate choices and independence. (ispcc.ie⁠)

If your young person is experiencing bullying, discrimination, distress or difficulties at school connected with any aspect of their identity, they may need additional support from trusted adults and appropriate services.

You may find further information at ISPCC/supporting-lgbtq-young-people/

More support

Our Support Line is open Monday to Friday from 9:00am to 1:00pm on 01 522 4300, if you would like to tslk more. You can also email [email protected].

Your young person can also contact Childline’s 24 hour confidential, non judgemental and anonymous service if they would like a safe space to explore their thoughts or feelings independently.

Thank you for reaching out to Ask Robyn and for wanting to keep communication open with your young person. Please remember to take care of yourself too,

Robyn