Hello and welcome

Welcome to our Ask Robyn service, and thank you for reaching out. It is completely understandable that you feel heartbroken for your son. Seeing our children experience rejection or exclusion can be deeply upsetting, especially during important milestones such as graduation. As parents, we often want to protect them from hurt, while also helping them build resilience and confidence.

Firstly, it is important to remember that supporting your son does not mean “molly coddling” him. In fact, offering emotional support and understanding can help young people process disappointment in a healthy and balanced way. Feeling left out can affect self-esteem and confidence, so knowing that he has your support at home can make a real difference.

Acknowledge his feelings

Sometimes young people may try to hide their hurt or brush things off. However, being excluded can still leave them feeling embarrassed, rejected, or confused. Therefore, gently acknowledging his feelings without trying to immediately “fix” the situation can help him feel heard and understood. Statements such as “That must have been difficult” can open the door for conversation without placing pressure on him.

Focus on connection and perspective

At the same time, it can help to remind your son that one event does not define his worth, friendships, or future. Young people’s social groups can change quickly, especially around transitions such as finishing school. Encouraging him to focus on the people who do value and include him may help shift his attention away from the exclusion itself.

Things you can do to support him

• Give him space to talk if he wants to, while also respecting if he needs time to process things privately
• Encourage activities, hobbies, or plans that help him feel confident and connected with others who appreciate him
• Avoid criticising the other young people involved, as this can sometimes increase feelings of anger or embarrassment
• Model resilience by reminding him that disappointment is part of life, while reassuring him that he can move through it with support

Be kind to yourself too

In addition, it is important to recognise your own feelings in this situation. Parents can often carry sadness or anger when their child is hurt. Supporting him calmly and consistently, rather than trying to remove all discomfort, can help him develop emotional resilience over time.

If you would like to talk some more about this our Support Line is open Monday to Friday 9:00am to 1:00pm on 01 5224300. Or you can email [email protected]

We wish you the best,

Robyn