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Hello my daughter who is 12 has recently started masturbating how can I tell and encourage her to clean up afterwards as her sheets are always very very wet.

Answer

Hi there,

Thank you for reaching out to us with what is going on for you at the
moment. You have mentioned that your daughter has recently started masturbating and it sounds like you are wondering how to approach a conversation about how she should tidy up after herself. We know these conversations can be awkward or uncomfortable, and it sounds like you know this can also be a sensitive topic for teenagers or young people. It’s important that you know that you are not alone in feeling unsure in how to approach these conversations as we regularly get questions in a bout this from other parents.

We wonder have you had many conversations before with your daughter about sex, safety and hygiene before? It’s important to have such conversations and approach them in an open, honest and non-judgemental way so that she can feel free to ask any questions she may have. Acknowledge that it is completely natural and normal to masturbate and it is nothing to feel ashamed about, you could say something like “it’s completely normal and healthy to make yourself feel good like that and learn about your body.” And then to note that there are a few things that might be helpful to discuss such as the importance of tidying up after ourselves. We have an article on our Childline website you might find helpful: www.childline.ie/lets-talk-about-masturbation/

When talking about masturbation it is also important to talk about hygiene as you do not wish to cause any infections or discomfort which can sometimes happen. This would mean talking about the importance of keeping hands and any objects she might use clean to help prevent this. This can also help with bringing up a discussion on how she might cleaning up after herself, such as how she might clean her sheets or possibly having a towel near by.

We understand if you would like to talk more about this, and if so, we encourage you to reach out by contacting ISPCC’s Support Line which can be reached by email to [email protected] or by phone from Monday to Friday 9am – 1pm on 01 522 4300.

Thanks again for getting in touch. 

Take care,  

Robyn 

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