Hi there,

Thank you for getting in touch, we’re really glad you reached out to us as this sounds like a very challenging situation to be in. It can be really hard to know how to respond when you might not be sure who is telling the truth.

We think it is important to have a conversation with your son about this, let him know that you are concerned and worried to hear that he has been having sex with your wife and this is a serious thing to say. Encourage these open, honest conversations in a safe place for him. It might be a good start to get more information about his truth from him, such as how long has this been going on for, etc. Remind him that you love him no matter what and the importance of his safety at home and that you both trust eachother. We would also encourage you to reach out to Tusla as they can support you in having conversations about this with your son and your wife. There are many supports out there for parents in this area and we would advise getting in touch with your Local Tusla duty social worker if you are concerned. You can find further information on how to contact your local office here: www.tusla.ie/get-in-touch/duty-social-work-teams/ 

We wonder if there is anything he’s finding difficult at the moment, or if he is going through a tough time? You mentioned that your son has made up stories in the past. Quite often young people can behave in such a way if they are struggling with something in their own lives. You could contact your local family resource centre to see what supports are in your area for your son. You can find national contacts here www.tusla.ie/services/family-community-support/family-resource-centres/find-family-resource-centre/. 

We understand this is a sensitive and challenging topic. If you wish to discuss this further, the ISPCC’s Support Line service can be contacted by email to [email protected] or between 9am – 1pm Monday – Friday by calling 01 522 4300.    

Take care,     

Robyn