Welcome to Ask Robyn

Welcome to our Ask Robyn service, and thank you for reaching out about your 2 year old and her soother.

Soothers can become an important source of comfort for young children, particularly when they are tired and settling to sleep. When something has been part of a child’s bedtime routine for a long time, it is understandable that parents may be unsure about when or how to encourage them to let it go.

At 2 years old, it would be a good time to begin thinking about gently moving away from the soother. However, this does not have to happen suddenly.

Why it can be helpful to move on from the soother

The HSE advises that long term soother use can affect children’s teeth and speech development and recommends gradually weaning children from a soother from around the age of 2.

As your daughter currently uses hers at bedtime, you have already limited its use to a particular part of the day. The next step can be helping her discover other ways to feel comfortable and secure as she settles to sleep.

Making the change gradually

Firstly, it may help to talk positively with your daughter about eventually saying goodbye to her soother rather than presenting it as something she has done wrong or is now too old to need.

Try to choose a relatively settled period to make the change. If there are other significant changes happening in her life, such as starting preschool, moving home or the arrival of a new sibling, it may be helpful to consider the timing carefully.

Some practical ideas that may help include:

• Introduce another comforting part of her bedtime routine, such as a favourite teddy, blanket, story or nightlight.
• Involve her in the process by talking about saying goodbye to the soother and praising the small steps she takes towards managing without it.
• Keep the bedtime routine predictable and calming so that familiar activities begin to provide some of the comfort she previously associated with her soother.
• Once you decide together that the soother is gone, try to remain consistent rather than bringing it back after a difficult night.

Responding with patience

There may be some resistance at first, particularly if your daughter strongly associates her soother with falling asleep. This does not necessarily mean that the change is going badly.

Instead, she may simply need some time to develop a new way of settling herself. Staying calm and offering comfort can help her through that transition without making the soother a source of conflict.

If you have concerns about her teeth, speech or development, you can also speak with your dentist, GP or public health nurse for individual advice.

You may find the HSE information about soothers and helping children stop useful at HSE/thumb-sucking-soothers/

If you would like to talk through this or another parenting concern, our Support Line is open Monday to Friday from 9:00am to 1:00pm on 01 522 4300. You can also email [email protected].

Thank you for reaching out to Ask Robyn. Please remember to take care of yourself too as you help your daughter through this next little stage.

Robyn