Welcome to Ask Robyn

Welcome to our Ask Robyn service, and thank you for reaching out about your child.

Starting first year is a significant transition. There are new teachers, subjects, classmates, routines and expectations to manage, and some young people need more time than others to find their feet.

The stomach aches you describe are also worth paying attention to. Anxiety can sometimes show itself physically, and children may genuinely experience symptoms such as stomach aches or headaches when they are worried or overwhelmed. 

Looking beyond the morning anxiety

Firstly, it may help to explore what part of school is feeling difficult. Rather than focusing only on whether your child attends, choose a calm time outside the morning rush to talk.

There may not be one obvious reason. They could be finding the workload difficult, feeling unsure socially, worrying about getting lost or being late, or struggling with another part of their new environment.

Try to listen before moving towards solutions. Knowing that we are interested in understanding rather than simply persuading them to go to school can make it easier for a young person to open up.

Working together with the school

It would also be helpful to involve the school early. You could contact their year head, class tutor or another appropriate staff member and explain what you are noticing at home.

Together, you may be able to identify particular times or situations that are causing difficulty and agree on some supports.

Some practical steps that may help include:

• Prepare as much as possible the evening before so that mornings feel calmer and more predictable.
• Help your child identify one trusted adult in school they can approach when they feel overwhelmed.
• Keep communication open with the school so that you can share what you are each noticing.
• Practise a simple calming strategy together, such as slow breathing or taking a few quiet moments, that they can also use during the school day.

When anxiety needs additional support

While some anxiety during a major transition can be expected, ongoing distress that is affecting school attendance or everyday life deserves further attention.

If the stomach aches continue, it is also important not to assume that anxiety is the cause without considering their physical health. Your GP can help with physical symptoms and can also discuss appropriate support if anxiety is becoming difficult for your child to manage. ISPCC similarly recommends seeking further help when anxiety is persistent or interfering with daily life.

You may find some of our articles on anxiety helpful: ispcc.ie/anxiety

Our Support Line is open Monday to Friday from 9:00am to 1:00pm on 01 522 4300, if you would like to talk some more. You can also email [email protected].

We have Childline’s 24 hour confidential, non judgemental and anonymous service if your child would like to talk independently about school or anything else that is worrying them.

Thank you for reaching out to Ask Robyn. As you support your child through this transition, please remember to take care of yourself too,

Robyn