Welcome to Ask Robyn

Welcome to our Ask Robyn service, and thank you for getting in touch about your son.

It can be worrying to know that he is experiencing difficulties at school, particularly when there is a possibility that these problems are following him home through messages or social media. It can feel even more difficult when a young person does not want to talk about what is happening, leaving parents unsure about how serious the situation may be.

Giving him space to talk

Firstly, try to let your son know that you are available to listen without putting pressure on him to tell you everything straight away. Young people can sometimes worry that speaking up will make a situation worse, that their phone will be taken away, or that adults will act before they feel ready.

Therefore, gentle and regular opportunities to talk may be more helpful than asking lots of questions at once. Letting him know that you want to understand what is happening and work through the next steps with him may help him feel more comfortable opening up.

Looking at what is happening online

If hurtful messages, bullying or harassment are happening online, it can be helpful to keep a record of what has happened. Screenshots and details of incidents may be useful if you need to raise the issue with the school or report concerning behaviour on a social media platform.

If the difficulties involve other pupils from his school, contacting the school can be an important next step. Explain what you know and ask how they can support your son and address the situation.

Some practical steps that may help

• Check in with your son regularly and give him opportunities to talk without pushing him for information before he feels ready.
• Keep screenshots or other records of concerning online messages or behaviour rather than responding to or deleting them immediately.
• Contact the school and ask about the supports available and how concerns about bullying or online behaviour are managed.
• Help him identify trusted adults at school whom he can approach if he feels worried, uncomfortable or unsafe.

Helping him access support

Alongside support from home and school, your son may find it easier at times to talk to someone outside the situation. Childline provides a 24 hour confidential, non judgemental and anonymous service where young people can talk about whatever is happening for them.

You may also find this ISPCC article helpful: ispcc.ie/what-not-to-say-to-a-worried-child-who-is-being-bullied/

If you would like support in thinking through what to do next, our Support Line is open Monday to Friday from 9:00am to 1:00pm on 01 522 4300. You can also email [email protected].

Thank you for reaching out to Ask Robyn and for seeking support for your son. Please take care of yourself as you support him through this.

Robyn