Welcome to our Ask Robyn service and thank you for reaching out with your question. Many parents and carers worry about how best to guide their child’s behaviour, especially during difficult moments. It can feel upsetting, exhausting, and sometimes confusing to know what approach works best. However, seeking support and asking questions is an important first step.

Understanding discipline

Discipline is not about punishment or control. Instead, it is about helping children learn boundaries, responsibility, and emotional regulation in a safe and supportive way. Children and young people are still developing their understanding of emotions and behaviour, so they need calm guidance from trusted adults.

At times, children may act out because they are overwhelmed, frustrated, tired, anxious, or struggling to express themselves. Therefore, responding with consistency and connection can often be more effective than reacting in anger.

Positive approaches that can help

There is no perfect parenting approach, and every child is different. Nevertheless, there are some strategies that can support positive behaviour and strengthen your relationship with your child.

You could try to:

• Set clear and consistent boundaries so your child knows what is expected of them
• Praise positive behaviour and effort, as children often respond well to encouragement and attention
• Stay calm during challenging moments, even when emotions are running high, as this helps model emotional regulation
• Use consequences that are fair and connected to the behaviour, while also taking time afterwards to talk and reconnect

Looking after yourself as a parent

Parenting can be stressful, particularly when behaviour feels challenging over a long period of time. In addition, many parents can feel guilt or worry that they are getting things wrong. It is important to remember that support is available, and nobody has to manage these situations alone.

You may find helpful parenting advice and support through Parents Plus. You can also access family and community support services through Túsla Family and Community Support Services.

If you would like to talk some more about this our Support Line is open Monday to Friday 9:00am to 1:00pm on 01 5224300. Or you can email [email protected].

We wish you the best,

Robyn