Thank you for reaching out

Hi there,

Thanks for contacting Ask Robyn with your question. It’s understandable to be concerned when a child expresses strong negative feelings about school, especially when they have previously done well both academically and socially.

Understanding the cause

The first step is to try to understand why your son feels this way. Has he been struggling with schoolwork? Is he finding it hard to maintain friendships or facing any form of bullying? Social challenges, academic pressure, or even changes in routine can all contribute to a child feeling overwhelmed by school.

It might be helpful to arrange a meeting with his year head or a member of the student support team at school to see if they can identify any patterns or issues that may be contributing to his distress. They may also be able to suggest strategies or adjustments ahead of the next academic year.

Supporting emotional wellbeing

It’s not unusual for young people to be reluctant to engage with a therapist, especially if they feel the solution is simply to avoid school. While it’s important to respect your son’s feelings, it’s also vital to keep the lines of communication open. Try to talk to him calmly and without pressure about what specifically he dislikes about school. Is it the environment, a particular subject, or the social setting? Understanding his perspective can help you work together to find a path forward.

If he isn’t ready to speak to a therapist, perhaps he could speak to a trusted adult, school counsellor, or even use an anonymous support service initially. The key is to create a space where he feels safe and heard.

Exploring supports and alternatives

If his difficulties are academic, consider options such as tutoring, learning support within the school, or alternative educational approaches that might suit his learning style better. If his challenges are more emotional or social, counselling can be a helpful support — even if he only engages when he feels ready.

Legal considerations

Under Irish law, school attendance is compulsory for children aged 6 to 16, or until they have completed three years of second-level education — whichever is later. As parents, you are legally responsible for ensuring your child attends school regularly. If his attendance continues to be a concern, the Túsla Education Support Service (TESS) can help. They work with families to support school attendance and address any barriers that might be preventing it.

You can learn more or contact them through the TESS website: www.tusla.ie/services/educational-welfare-services/

Further support

The ISPCC also offers services to support both children and parents who may be facing emotional or behavioural challenges. You can contact the Parenting Support service by emailing [email protected] or by calling 01 522 4300.

Take care

You’re clearly doing your best to support your son, and seeking advice is a positive step. With the right support and understanding, it is possible to help him feel more confident and resilient for the school year ahead.

Best wishes,

Robyn