Thank you for getting in touch

Hello, thanks for reaching out. This is a difficult situation for many parents, and it is understandable that you are trying to balance your child’s emotional wellbeing with the social skills you hope he will develop.

What his reaction may be telling you

From a child development perspective, strong resistance to an activity, particularly when it is met with tears, is often a signal of distress or dread. At six years of age, emotional safety matters more than participation in any specific activity. While team sports can support social development, this usually only happens when a child feels secure enough to engage. If he is consistently distressed, he is unlikely to be in a position to build confidence or social skills.

When something is not working

Crying before every training session or match suggests that something is not working for him. This could be related to the sport itself, the coaching style, group dynamics, sensory overwhelm, or simply that he is not ready for a structured team environment. These responses are developmentally common at this age and are not a sign of weakness.

Other ways to build social skills

Social skills do not develop through team sports alone. Playdates, unstructured play in the park, swimming, martial arts, drama, dance, and arts and crafts groups can all help children learn cooperation, turn taking, and resilience without forcing participation in an activity they find overwhelming.

Listening to his experience

Gently exploring his reasons can be helpful. Short, simple questions such as “What part feels hard?” or “Is there something about football you do not enjoy?” may offer useful insight. Children of this age often struggle to express their feelings clearly, so observing changes in behaviour, such as increased anxiety or withdrawal on training days, can also provide important information. Continuing to push attendance despite distress may have the opposite effect to the skill building you are hoping for.

Offering choice and flexibility

It may help to pause football for a few weeks to gain clarity around his resistance. Offering choice can support independence while still encouraging development, for example, “You do not have to do football, but you do need to choose one activity to try.” When children feel heard and supported, they are often more open to trying new things. Forcing participation can lead to sport being associated with pressure rather than enjoyment. At this age, the focus is on nurturing curiosity rather than compliance.

Further support

Thank you for getting in touch. We hope you have found this helpful. If you would like to discuss this further, the ISPCC’s Support Line can be contacted by email at [email protected] or by phone on 01 522 4300, Monday to Friday, 9am to 1pm.

Thanks again for your question. Take care of yourself, 

Robyn