Hello and welcome

Thank you for reaching out. You are dealing with a very sensitive and difficult situation and it is understandable that you feel worried and unsure about how to respond.

Immediate boundaries

The first step is to calmly but firmly make sure that your children are not sharing a bed or spending nights together. Setting clear household rules around privacy and sleeping arrangements helps create a safe environment for everyone.

Communication and emotional support

Talking with each child separately in a calm and non judgemental way can help you understand what has been happening and gives them space to share. Revisit the new boundaries and explain that sharing a bed is not appropriate.

Your daughter’s fear of sleeping alone is important to acknowledge. You can offer alternatives such as a night light, a calming bedtime routine, or temporary comfort in your room. These supports can help her feel safe without relying on her brother.

Professional guidance

If your concerns continue, consider contacting a child psychologist or another qualified professional. They can provide guidance on healthy relationships and appropriate behaviour between siblings and may help both children explore these topics in a safe and structured way.

Why boundaries matter

Knowledge about sex is a normal part of adolescence, but siblings crossing these boundaries can be harmful. Your role is to guide them toward healthier understandings of relationships and appropriate ways for siblings to support one another, especially as your daughter manages her fears.

Further support

If you would like to discuss this further, the ISPCC Support Line can be contacted by email at [email protected] or by phone at 01 522 4300 between 9am and 1pm Monday to Friday.

We hope you find the above helpful. Take care of yourself,

Robyn