Non-violent resistance (NVR) is a supportive program provided by ISPCC’s Child Therapeutic Support Services for parents that are experiencing child to parent violence.
Parents can become caught up in a struggle for power/control with their child, this conflict can fracture relationships and at times the child can become violent towards their parents or siblings.
NVR is a structured weekly program with the aim of reducing violence in the home, empowering parents, repairing relationships, improving communication and supporting the child to regulate their emotions.
Child to parent violence includes a wide range of abusive behaviours such as aggression, intimidation, acts of physical violence and controlling tactics including following/stalking parents or financial abuse.
This violence is often kept a secret by families for many reasons including feelings of shame, guilt and fear of being judged.
All families experience conflict at times however when this conflict escalates and becomes violent or is happening regularly it can be very stressful for parents, siblings and for the child displaying the violent behaviour.
Children can display anger and aggression when they have difficulty regulating their emotions and communicating how they feel.
The aim of the NVR program is to empower parents to build a new authority and to resist being dragged into the conflict cycle.
NVR encourages parents to reconnect with their child, support them to manage their emotions and help build their resilience.
Parents are also encouraged to develop a network of support to help them implement the steps of the program.
NVR focuses on the here and now with research showing it reduces child to parent violence once the steps of the program are followed and implemented.
During the NVR program parents/carers learn to resist the violence through a variety of strategies including but not limited to:
- Increased parental presence
- Resourcing themselves
- Increased parental authority
- Gaining support
- Peaceful protest within the home.
Habits can develop over time in reacting to conflict and NVR allows parents/carers an opportunity to reflect on their own contribution to aggressive and violent behaviour while developing and implementing de-escalation skills.
Positive results have also been reported from families that have children with additional needs in reducing violence in their home.
Quotes from parents that have completed the course:
– ‘Better than any course I have done before’
– ‘I really feel this course will help when fostering children’
– ‘I would recommend this course to anyone having difficulties with parenting’
Support is available
If you are parent/carer that is concerned about violence in your home, it is important that you seek support.
You can find more information and support on child to parent violence and the NVR program at the following organisations:
- NVR Ireland- www.nvrireland.ie
- Parentline – www.parentline.ie
- Family support centres in your area that may be available to offer support.
- The ISPCC offers NVR support in certain areas and has a support line number that can assist parents in locating a service in their locality that offers NVR. The support line number is 01 522 4300.