Your Question
Hi Robyn, I am dreading the Christmas holidays when the kids are off school. They just cannot get along with each other and are constantly fighting with each other. The weekends are a nightmare, but 2 weeks off school, I don’t know how to cope. I love them deeply, but the fighting with each other is getting to me.
Answer
Welcome to Ask Robyn
Thank you for getting in touch with our Ask Robyn service. We are really glad you reached out and shared what is going on for you.
Understanding how hard this feels
It sounds exhausting to be facing into the Christmas holidays with so much tension already present at home. Loving your children deeply while feeling worn down by constant fighting can bring up frustration, guilt and worry all at the same time. Many parents tell us weekends and school breaks can feel overwhelming, so you are not alone in feeling this way.
Why holidays can increase conflict
During school time, children have structure, space from each other and clear routines. However, when holidays arrive, all of that changes. More time together, boredom and tiredness can make small disagreements grow quickly. Because of this, it can help to focus on managing the environment rather than trying to stop every argument.
Things that may help over the holidays
Firstly, small changes can make a big difference. You might consider trying some of the following ideas.
- Create predictable routines for meals, screen time and bedtime so everyone knows what to expect
- Build in planned breaks from each other such as separate activities or quiet time
- Set clear family rules about fighting and agree consequences calmly when things are settled
- Notice and praise moments of cooperation, even very small ones, to encourage more positive interactions
Support for children and young people
Also, it can be reassuring to know that children and young people can contact our Childline service free at phone 1800 66 66 66, or by web chat at Childline.ie, should they feel they need someone anonymous to talk things through with. This service is non judgemental, confidential and anonymous, as we do not use caller identification nor device IP address. They are never alone. We are here to support them and explore their options in a safe place, open 24/7.
You deserve support too
Finally, if you would like to talk some more about this, our Support Line is open Monday to Friday 9:00am to 1:00pm on 01 522 4300. Or you can email [email protected]. We are here to listen and support you.
Take care of yourself, and thanks again for getting in touch,
Robyn
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