Your Question
I’m a mother of 4 children only one is left in foster care she’s 15 and my son who’s 18 has come out of care but still resides there. I have concerns regarding the behaviour of their foster mother and her trying to alienate my kids from me. We e spoken already about this, she is making every attempt at contact very difficult. I’m 7 yrs in Recovery from alcohol and drugs .The social workers have always sided with her even when I gave presented proof of this parental alienation. There telling me oh my daughter doesn’t wants this or that but when I speak to her she says they don’t ask her what she wants. I need an independent advocate that will . Listen to my daughter without taking side to give her a voice there’s already been alot of damage done and I had to cut contact with the foster mother because of lies and her using my kids to hurt me
Answer
Welcome to Ask Robyn
Thank you for reaching out. It is important for parents to have access to support and guidance when facing challenges, especially those involving their children in care.
Recognition of your recovery
Firstly, congratulations on continuing your recovery journey from alcohol and substance misuse. This is a significant achievement, and it shows your ongoing commitment to being present in your children’s lives.
Concerns about foster care and parental alienation
You mentioned concerns about the behaviour of your children’s foster carer and that you feel alienated as a parent. You also noted that communication with the foster carer has broken down and that you believe contact between you and your children is being negatively affected.
If you are feeling alienated from your children or are experiencing difficulties with maintaining contact, it is essential to raise these concerns with your allocated Social Worker or Fostering Link Social Worker. They are responsible for ensuring the wellbeing of children in care, as well as maintaining open and fair communication between all parties involved.
Seeking independent support
In addition to speaking with the social work team, you may wish to contact the Irish Foster Care Association (IFCA). IFCA is the national organisation that supports foster families and the wider fostering community. Their confidential National Helpline Service operates from 11am to 3pm, Monday to Friday, and provides independent and professional support to those involved in foster care. You can contact them by phone at 01 458 5123 or by email at [email protected].
Access to a parental advocacy service
You also mentioned the need for an independent advocate to listen to your daughter and ensure her voice is heard. Barnardos provides a Parental Advocacy Service for parents of children in care. This service offers support without taking sides and can help parents navigate the care system. Barnardos can be contacted via their freephone line at 1800 333 355 (Monday to Friday, 10am to 1pm) or by email at [email protected].
Further support
The ISPCC (Irish Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children) also offers a Support Line Service. A member of their team can listen and guide you towards relevant supports and services. The Support Line is available from Monday to Friday, 9am to 1pm. You can contact them at 01 522 4300 or by email at [email protected].
Final thoughts
We hope this information is helpful and provides you with some useful next steps. There are services available to support both you and your children, and your voice matters. Please continue to reach out—you are not alone.
Robyn
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