Understanding toddler behaviour

Welcome to our service. Thank you for sharing your concern.

When you see challenging behaviour in toddlers, it often means that the child cannot figure out how to express their feelings in an acceptable way or does not know how to get a need met.

Teaching self-control through play

Helping your child to practise self-control is important. There are many daily moments when you can encourage this skill. For example, games that require turn-taking are great for learning how to wait and share. Rolling a ball back and forth is one simple game. It gives children the chance to wait and control their impulse to grab the ball.

Pretend play can also be helpful. Acting out a story allows children to wait, take turns, and negotiate as they decide how the story will unfold. Another idea is playing “sharing music,” where each of you chooses an instrument to play. Set a timer for one minute, and when it goes off, swap instruments and start the timer again.

Talking about feelings

Another way to help with frustration is by talking about feelings. Read books together and notice aloud how the characters are feeling: “The dog is really happy that he got a bone.” Share your own feelings too: “I just spilled some milk. Mammy is feeling frustrated. Will you help me wipe it up? Wow, it feels so good to have your help.” When your child can label how he is feeling, it helps him gain control over his emotions and communicate them to others.

Problem-solving and comfort strategies

Once your child has named his feelings, you can suggest what he might do to feel better or solve the problem. This helps him learn what to do in the future when he faces a similar challenge. For example, if he is sad because his dad just left for work, you could suggest looking at photos of him or drawing him a picture.

Finding further support

We hope this answers your concern. If you are looking for advice or support in the future, you can find lots of helpful resources on our website www.ispcc.ie. We also offer a support line from 9am to 1pm, Monday to Friday, by calling 01 522 4300, and an email service [email protected].

With best wishes,

Robyn