Acknowledging the change

Hi there, thank you for your question.

While we are a service for parent and adult concerns about young people aged 18 years and younger, we hope the below will be of some help.

When your children become adults, it can be lovely to have them around, but it can also be challenging at times, especially when it comes to maintaining your own space, routines, and sense of balance in your home.

What boundaries really mean

Setting boundaries is not about creating distance; it is about fostering respect and clarity in your shared home.

Boundaries help define what is acceptable and what is not, and they protect your well-being. For example, you might say:

“I know you want to have your friends over, but I need quiet time in the evenings after 9pm to unwind. Let’s agree on some house rules so we both feel comfortable.”

This kind of statement is respectful, clear, and invites collaboration. It is important to be consistent once boundaries are set, and to revisit them if circumstances change.

Encouraging responsibility

Encouraging your adult child to take responsibility, whether it is contributing to household jobs, managing their own finances, or respecting shared spaces, can help them grow while easing pressure on you.

Navigating mixed emotions

It is perfectly normal to feel conflicted, proud of your child’s growth, yet unsure of your role in their adult life. These feelings are valid, and you are not alone in experiencing them.

Looking after yourself

Remember, your needs matter too. Taking time for yourself, whether it is rest, hobbies, or connecting with friends, will help you stay grounded and better able to support your family.

Finding support

Speaking with other parents who are navigating similar challenges can be incredibly reassuring. Have you considered joining a local support group or online community to share experiences and gain support?

Helpful contact in Ireland

Parentline is a support line for parents who need someone to talk to. You can find out more about their services at parentline.ie.

Wishing you the very best of luck with everything,

Robyn