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  5. How can I support my daughter through puberty when she’s embarrassed about body changes?

Your Question

Hello I am a single mother. My daughter is 11 years old, and we always have very open and honest conversations. We speak about issues, and she knows she can tell me anything and she won’t be judged. Recently she’s spoken to me about feeling embarrassed now she’s going through puberty. After long discussions she finally admitted to me that it’s because of the smell on her underwear to which I have told her it normal and that if she feels something is off, we can make an appointment with the doctors. Are there any resources that you can point me too with things such as smells and discharge that are more tailored to her age group.

Answer

Hello and welcome

Welcome to Ask Robyn, one of our parental supports at ISPCC. Thank you for reaching out.

Creating a safe space

It sounds like you’re doing a great job supporting your daughter and keeping the lines of communication open. That safe, non-judgemental space you have created will make a big difference for her as she goes through puberty, especially when it comes to worries about changes like discharge or body odour. Reassuring her that it’s normal, and that you’ll check with the doctor if something feels off, is exactly the right approach.

Trusted resources

Here are some reliable resources that you might find helpful:

  • Busy Bodies (HSE and SexualWellbeing.ie): A booklet and video series for 10–14 year olds, explaining body changes, discharge, and periods in a reassuring and age-appropriate way.
  • Making the Big Talk, many Small Talks (SexualWellbeing.ie): A guide for parents of 8–12 year olds to support conversations about puberty and growing up.
  • KidsHealth (Nemours Foundation): This website offers clear, age-appropriate articles for children and parents on puberty, discharge, and hygiene.
  • ISPCC Parenting Hub: Practical advice on supporting your child through puberty is available on our ISPCC website.
  • Childline by ISPCC: A confidential listening service for children and young people to talk about anything that’s on their mind – including worries about growing up and changes to their bodies. She can call 1800 66 66 66 or chat online at childline.ie.

Ongoing support

Growing up can be confusing at times, but having the right information and support makes a huge difference. By showing your daughter that you’re open, calm, and available to talk about sensitive topics, you’re already giving her the tools to navigate these changes with confidence.

If at any stage you’d like extra support with these conversations or in managing your daughter’s worries, you can contact the ISPCC Support Line for parents and carers on 01 522 4300. This service operates from 9:00am – 1:00pm. Monday -Friday.

Thank you again for getting in touch. Take care of yourself,

Robyn

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