Welcome and reassurance

Thank you for reaching out with your question. Starting secondary school is a big change, and it’s completely understandable that your child may feel upset after their first day. Many young people feel overwhelmed as they adjust to a new environment, new teachers, and new classmates. As parents and carers, it can be difficult to watch them struggle, but there are gentle ways we can help them feel more secure and confident.

Understanding their feelings

Firstly, it can help to acknowledge and validate your child’s feelings. Let them know it is normal to feel nervous or unsettled, and that lots of students go through the same thing. Listening without rushing to solve everything right away gives your child the space to share what’s really worrying them. Sometimes, simply being heard and reassured is enough to ease their fears.

Practical support over the weekend

Over the weekend, small steps can make a difference. For example, helping your child get organised with their school bag, uniform, or timetable can reduce stress on Monday morning. Doing a quick practice journey to school together, or setting out a calm routine for Sunday evening, may also bring a sense of security. You can read more ideas and tips in this ISPCC article on moving from primary to secondary school.

Building connection and confidence

Encouraging your child to focus on the positives, such as a subject they enjoyed, a new classmate they spoke to, or even something small like finding their way to class, can gradually build their confidence. Remind them that it often takes time to settle into new friendships and routines. As the weeks go on, many young people begin to feel much more at ease.

Ongoing support

Transitions can take a little while, but with patience, encouragement, and open communication, your child can begin to feel settled. If you would like to talk some more about this, our Support Line is open Monday–Friday, 9:00am–1:00pm on 01 5224300, or you can email [email protected].

Support for young people

Your child can also contact our Childline service if they would like to talk. Childline is free to call at 1800 66 66 66, or they can connect through web-chat at www.Childline.ie. This service is non-judgemental, confidential, and anonymous (we don’t use caller identification or device IP address). Most importantly, it is open 24/7. They are never alone, our team is here to support them and explore their options in a safe place.

We wish you and your child the best with their secondary school transition. Take care,

Robyn