Your Question
Hi my wife left me and the kids last year and im strugging to manage with them the are 15 and 13 i love them to bits they are my life i feel like im a bad father maybe they be better off with there mum how do i deal with this
Answer
Hi, welcome to Ask Robyn.
We’re really sorry to hear about what’s been going on for you and your family. It sounds like you have a lot on your plate, looking after two teenagers. It must have been incredibly difficult adjusting to their mum no longer being around as much.
It’s important to remember that you are there for them — and as you said, you “love them to bits” and “they are your life.” That love and presence is something no one else can replace, and your children are lucky to have that support in you. Please try not to be too hard on yourself.
It’s completely normal to feel overwhelmed and even doubt yourself at times — many parents in similar situations feel the same way. Parenting, especially on your own, can be incredibly demanding. But reaching out for help shows strength, not weakness.
If you feel up to it, it might help to talk to your children about how they are feeling too. Just checking in with them can open up space for honest, supportive conversations, and let them know they can share what’s going on in their world as well.
There are services in Ireland that can offer support, guidance, and a listening ear:
- Parentline offers a free, confidential helpline where you can talk through how you’re feeling.
- One Family provides supports specifically for people parenting alone, sharing parenting, or separating.
- Citizens Information also offers useful guidance on your rights and entitlements as a lone parent.
It’s also really important to look after your own wellbeing. When you feel supported and cared for, you’ll be in a better place to support your children too.
Here at the ISPCC, we offer a parent support line, Monday to Friday from 9am–1pm, at 01 522 4300. You can call and talk about what’s going on for you and your family. And if your children would like to talk to someone too, Childline is available 24/7 on 1800 66 66 66, or they can use the live chat feature at childline.ie.
You are not a bad father — you’re a parent doing their best in a tough situation, and reaching out like this shows your strength and care.
Thank you for getting in touch with Ask Robyn, and we wish you and your children all the very best,
Robyn
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