Welcome to Ask Robyn

Welcome and thank you for getting in touch with our Ask Robyn service. It is completely understandable to feel confused when new terms start appearing in conversations about children and behaviour. Many parents are asking similar questions and you are not alone in wanting clear and reassuring information.

Understanding the nervous system

Simply put, the nervous system is the body’s communication and safety system. It includes the brain, spinal cord and nerves and it constantly scans for danger or safety. In children, this system is still developing, which means it can be easily overwhelmed by stress, tiredness, change or big emotions.

Because of this, behaviour is often a signal of how safe or overwhelmed a child’s nervous system feels. For example, when a child feels calm and safe, they are more able to listen, learn and connect. On the other hand, when their nervous system senses threat, even something small, their body may go into fight, flight or freeze mode. This can look like anger, withdrawal, anxiety, meltdowns or refusal to cooperate.

Why it comes up so often now

In recent years, there has been more awareness of how stress, trauma and everyday pressures affect children. Therefore, when professionals talk about behaviour, they often focus less on discipline and more on what a child’s nervous system might be communicating. This shift helps adults respond with understanding rather than punishment.

What parents can do to support their child

Although we cannot control everything that affects a child, there are simple ways to help their nervous system feel safer and more settled.

• Keep routines as predictable as possible, as consistency helps children feel secure
• Notice and name feelings calmly, which helps children feel understood and less alone
• Offer connection before correction, such as a calm presence or gentle reassurance
• Support rest, movement and play, as these all help regulate the nervous system

A gentle reminder

It is important to remember that behaviour is communication. When we look at it through the lens of the nervous system, it can reduce blame and increase compassion for both children and parents.

Our Support Line is open Monday to Friday 9.00am to 1.00pm on 01 5224300, if you ever have any questions. Or you can email [email protected].

Thank you for reaching out. Take care,

Robyn