Hello, and welcome to Ask Robyn.

Thank you for sharing your concern. Our advice would be to help her learn to interact in social situations by mimicking your actions. One of the best ways to encourage your shy child to feel more confident is by showing them how to socialize and modelling the behaviours you want to see.

Shyness can stem from anxiety, and one way to help overcome anxiety is to prepare your child for new and uncomfortable situations. For example, if your child has been invited to a birthday party—which you have mentioned can be challenging for her—you can help by talking her through the situation beforehand. Explain where she will be going, who will be there, what will happen, and how long the party will last. Let her ask questions. You might even consider visiting the venue beforehand to help her visualize what will happen on the day. The more you can prepare her for an unfamiliar situation, the more confident she will feel when it happens in real time.

Another very useful activity to try with your daughter is role play. Pretend play and role-playing are excellent for a shy child, as they offer a stress-free way to practice social skills. These activities also provide many benefits for early learning and development. By pretending to be a character or acting out certain situations, your child can build confidence and feel more comfortable in social interactions.

We hope these suggestions will be helpful to you and your child. We also have some resources on our website related to low confidence and self-esteem. Visit www.ispcc.ie/ for more information.

Best wishes,

Robyn