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Hello. I am a mother to a girl aged 11 we have had small and regular sex talks as shes started asking more questions. I am embarrassed to admit I entered her room the other day quite quickly after knocking which was wrong of me. When I entered her room she was masturbating however I did notice a rather large amount of fluid being expelled from her vagina. How should I approach this topic with her and how do I help her with cleaning up. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Answer

Hi there,

Thank you for reaching out to us with what is going on for you at the moment. It is great to hear that you and your daughter have had regular sex talks and that you have allowed for a safe space where she can ask questions. We know these conversations can be awkward or uncomfortable, so it sounds like you have done a great job in approaching these conversations so far.

Have you spoken to her since walking into her room the other day when she was masturbating? It may allow you to bring the conversation up in such a way that you are apologising for walking in too quickly after knocking. Acknowledge that it is completely natural and normal to masturbate and it is nothing to feel ashamed about, and that maybe there are a few things that might be helpful to discuss such as “I noticed that the sheets were quite wet.” We have an article on our Childline website you might find helpful: www.childline.ie/lets-talk-about-masturbation/

When talking about masturbation it is also important to talk about hygiene as you do not wish to cause any infections or discomfort which can sometimes happen. This would mean talking about the importance of keeping hands and any objects she might use clean to help prevent this. This can also help with bringing up a discussion on how she might clean up after herself.

We hope you have found this helpful. If you would like to talk more about this, you can contact ISPCC’s Support Line which can be contacted by email to [email protected] or by phone from Monday to Friday 9am – 1pm on 01 522 4300 

Take care,  

Robyn 

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