Puberty is a confusing and emotional time for children as they begin to make the transition to adulthood.
Embarrassment over their changing bodies or blemished skin can lead to them retreating into their shell a little but, to a certain extent, that’s all part of growing up and not something to be concerned about.
They have to find a way to process what’s happening and develop the coping and self-soothing skills they need to get through it.
Of course, you should always be there to support them and talk to them when they ask for guidance. The goal is the find a healthy balance between giving them their independence but also letting them know you’re there when they need you.
However, if you notice that your teen is unusually quiet, reserved, downbeat or nervous, it’s worth paying closer attention.
He or she may be dealing with low self-esteem and if this isn’t dealt with early, it can have far-reaching effects on their adult life, particularly when it comes to their career, self-worth and personal relationships.
Signs of Low Self-Esteem
- Downplaying or refusing to acknowledge any talents or achievements
- Offering to take the photograph so they don’t have to be in it
- Constantly apologising even when they’re not in the wrong
- Avoiding eye contact
- Asking lots of questions to keep the focus off themselves
- Difficulty making friends
- Negatively comparing themselves to other people
- Saying no to new opportunities to avoid failure or embarrassment
Potential Causes of Low Self-Esteem
- Unsupportive family or caregiver
- Bullying
- Previous trauma or abuse
- Chronic illness or medical condition that sets them apart from their peers
- Stressful home life – divorce, domestic abuse, constantly moving foster homes
- Friends who are a bad influence
- Poor school performance
- Severe anxiety or depression
Ways to boost your child’s Self-Esteem
- Show them that you enjoy spending time with them
- Acknowledge their efforts and praise them
- Compliment and encourage the use of their talents
- Promote a healthy body image and be mindful of how you talk about food and your body in their presence
- Teach your child some positive affirmations – eg. “I am good, I am kind, I am worthy of love, I am strong, I am resilient”.
- Avoid criticism that takes the form of ridicule, shame or comparing them unfavourably with other children, especially their siblings.
- Tell them you love them – say the words out loud!
