Your Question
How can I talk to my 2 daughters about consent and sex? One of my daughters is 15 and I think she deserves to know so she can have a healthy relationship growing up
Answer
- Hello, and welcome to Ask Robyn,
Thank you for reaching out and for being proactive about your daughters’ well-being. It’s understandable that you want to ensure they grow up with a healthy understanding of relationships, consent, and sex. These conversations can be challenging, but they are crucial for helping young people navigate their lives safely and confidently.
When discussing consent and sex with your daughters, it’s important to create an open and supportive environment where they feel comfortable asking questions and expressing their thoughts. Start by talking about consent as a fundamental part of any relationship—emphasise that it’s about respect, communication, and mutual agreement. It’s not just about saying “no” but also about feeling empowered to say “yes” or “no” without pressure. This sets a foundation for them to understand that their boundaries—and others’—should always be respected.
Given that your older daughter is 15, she may already have been exposed to information about sex from peers or media, which may not always be accurate or healthy. It’s important to address any misinformation and offer her a safe space to explore her feelings and questions. Be honest and clear about the physical and emotional aspects of sex, and emphasise the importance of making informed decisions. Encourage her to think about what a healthy relationship looks like—one built on trust, mutual respect, and open communication.
As for your younger daughter, if she is not yet ready for a detailed discussion about sex, focus on the concept of consent in everyday situations—like sharing toys or personal space—so that she begins to understand the importance of respect and boundaries. You can build on these conversations as she gets older, gradually introducing more age-appropriate information about relationships and sexuality.
Remember, this is not a one-time conversation but an ongoing dialogue. Let your daughters know that they can come to you with any questions or concerns, and that you’re there to guide and support them as they navigate these topics. It’s also okay to admit if you don’t have all the answers right away—you can explore the information together.
These are some articles from the Childline website which may be useful for you:
If you would like to talk more about this, our Support Line is open Monday-Friday, 9:00 AM – 1:00 PM at 01 5224300, or you can email [email protected]. We’re here to help.
Best wishes,
Robyn
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