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Dear Robyn my wife walked out on me last year after cheating on me. There is only me and my daughter she’s 17 but at the moment I find it a struggle to communicate with my daughter about how she’s feeling and what’s going on in her life sometimes I think that she shud have gone with her mum but she chose to stay with me I don’t want to lose connection with my daughter she’s all I have since my wife left me

Answer

Hi there,

Thank you so much for reaching out to us with how you are feeling at the moment. It sounds like you have been through a tough time with your wife walking out and now you are feeling unsure of how to communicate with your daughter.

 

Parenting a teenager has it challenges as they go through puberty, which means mood changes and also trying to navigate friendships for teenage girls can be hard. It is understandable to feel unsure on how to communicate with her, but you asking this question shows how much you care and that is the most important thing of all. Often parents worry about saying the wrong thing or not being a good enough parent, and these feelings are normal. No parent is perfect, and you will get it wrong. Making the effort and apologising if you feel you did say something wrong is an excellent skill to model for your teenage daughter as it shows the how you can work in various relationships in your life. 

 

It might help to plan some time just the two of you, maybe set a routine such as one night a week you eat dinner together, go for a walk or drive or even watch a movie. Let her know you want to spend more time together and would like to know what is going on for her. She may not respond with the enthusiasm you hope for at first, and this is a normal teenager response, it does show that you care and love her which is important.

 

We have some articles on our website that you may find helpful:

www.ispcc.ie/8-ways-to-maintain-positive-contact-with-your-child-after-a-separation-or-divorce/www.ispcc.ie/why-you-need-to-be-more-understanding-during-your-childs-teenage-years/

 

Thanks again for getting in touch. We hope you have found this helpful and if you do want to talk about this any further, you can contact ISPCC’s Support Line which can be contacted by email to [email protected] or by phone from Monday to Friday 9am – 1pm on 01 522 4300 

Take care,  

Robyn 

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