My Child Is Self-Harming

Self-harm is when someone intentionally hurts, cuts or injures themselves. For some people, self-harm is a way of coping with difficult or overwhelming feelings.

Self-harm is not necessarily a suicide attempt. Often, people can engage in self-harm as a coping mechanism to deal with intense or difficult emotions.

Forms of self-harm

  • cutting
  • burning
  • scalding
  • hitting or scratching
  • breaking bones
  • hairpulling
  • swallowing toxic substances or objects
  • engaging in risk behaviours (e.g. through sex, drugs & alcohol)

Why do people self-harm?

  • Self-harm may be seen as a way to attempt to deal with negative, difficult and painful emotions
  • Self-harm may be seen as providing young people with  a way to express difficult or hidden feelings they are experiencing. Overwhelming feelings can sometimes leave young people feeling numb or empty. Engaging in self-harm may provide a temporary sense of feeling again, or may be a method they use to express anger, sadness, grief or hurt.
  • Self-harm may be seen as providing a way to communicate a need for support when a person is unable to verbally ask for help.
  • Self-harm may be seen by young people as a practice which helps them feel they are in  control. They might feel that self-harm is one way they can have a sense of control over their life, their feelings, or their body – especially if they feel as if other things in their life are out of control.

Supporting your child

Some ways in which you can provide support to your child if they are self-harming, include:

  • Try not to panic.
  • Deal with any immediate medical concerns. Contact emergency services or attend your local A&E if necessary.
  • Listen and find out what your child needs and what they are going through.
  • Try to understand the severity of their anguish; self-harm is often an expression of intense inner turmoil.
  • Provide a safe and open environment in which they can freely discuss their thoughts and feelings.
  • Seek professional advice and support.

Support is available

If you are concerned your child might be self-harming it is important that you seek support and guidance from a professional. Attend a GP or  hospital. Medical professionals can refer a child to a specialist who can provide them with further help. Different professionals often work together in Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services (CAMHS).

You can find more information and support around your child’s mental health at the following organisations:

Childline is available at any time of the day or night for any child or young person up to the age of 18 in Ireland who wishes to talk about any topic on their mind. Childline is here to listen and offer support.

You can read how we presented information on self-harm to children and young people on our site here

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