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Your Question

My wife is both emotionally and physically abusive towards both myself and our 10 year old daughter how can i protect my children. This has been going on for years. We also have an 8 year old son who doesn’t get that much negative attention as our daughter does from their mother.

Answer

Hi there,

Many thanks for getting in touch with Ask Robyn, we know it can be a really hard thing to do, especially if it is your first time speaking about abuse. We are concerned to hear that you and your daughter are experiencing abuse in your home. You both have the right to feel safe and no one has the right to jeopardise that.

We know that any form of abuse can be really hard to talk about and it can bring up many different feelings and worries for those experiencing the abuse. It is positive that you have reached out and are able to say your experience and concerns with this platform, it is a really helpful step to take. Although we do not know the exact details of the abuse you are experiencing, it is important that you know that all children have the right to feel safe and to not be at risk of harm. It can seem overwhelming or daunting to acknowledge that any form of abuse is illegal and to also acknowledge the impact that it has on a child. It may help to get a further understanding of what is abuse. You may find this article on our website helpful: www.childline.ie/what-is-abuse/ . We know that you are also experiencing abuse from your wife, but as your child’s second parent you do also hold responsibility for keeping your children safe.

There are many supports out there for parents in this area and we would advise getting in touch with your Local Tusla duty social worker. You can find further information on how to contact your local office here: www.tusla.ie/get-in-touch/duty-social-work-teams/ Tusla can help you develop a safety plan to ensure that you and your children are safe from harm.

Here is some more information on how and why you would report to Tusla www.tusla.ie/children-first/parents-and-guardians/how-do-i-report-a-concern-about-a-child/ You will be asked for further information and to explain the risk to them.

You and your children have the right to support and to be safe. From your question, it sounds like you feel there are times were you and your daughter are not safe. If you ever feel your or someone else is in immediate danger, we advise you to contact the Gardaí at 999 or 112, or your local Garda station.

It may also help you to look at other supports that may be available to you: www.mensaid.ie ; www.womensaid.ie/get-help/support-services/ . It is important that you know you are not alone in this, there is help there.

We understand this all can be overwhelming and we hope you have found this response helpful. If you would like to talk more about this, you can contact ISPCC’s Support Line which can be contacted by email to [email protected] or by phone from Monday to Friday 9am – 1pm on 01 522 4300 

Take care,  

Robyn 

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