Your Question
Hi
My 13 year old daughter received a text asking for nude photos. She thought the text was from her friend but the message was quickly deleted and her friend explained that his friend’s had stolen her phone. She is extremely upset and says she now has trust issues. She told her year head in school and both boys involved got a detention. I feel this doesn’t go far enough. Have you any advice please. Just to note this incident didn’t take place in school but my daughter got upset in school when she saw the 2 boys who’d sent the messages, it is then she went to her year head.
Many thanks
Answer
Hi there,
Many thanks for getting in touch with Ask Robyn. It sounds like your daughter has been going through a really tough and upsetting time. It is positive that she has been able to talk to you about what is going on as this can bring up a lot of shame for young people, talking can help reduce this. It is also really positive that she has spoke to her year head so they are aware of this too. Continue to offer your daughter reassurance and validate her feelings, it is understandable that she is upset, and you feel the frustration too that the school haven’t taken this far enough.
It may be worth having a conversation with your daughter and school around Coco’s Law and “Understanding the Harassment, Harmful Communication and Related Offences Act 2020 and the legal consequences of it for young people.” Further information can be found at www.webwise.ie/lockers/cocos-law-lesson/
It is unclear from what you have said whether she sent photos or if she responded. It is important to note that the law says that creating or sharing sexual images, videos including “nude photos” of a child under 18 is illegal, even if the person sharing is a child. She may be aware of this already but it is an important conversation to have.
We have some articles on our website that can help guide further conversations with your daughter, such as: www.ispcc.ie/what-to-do-if-you-think-your-child-is-sending-nudes/
www.ispcc.ie/young-people-and-sexting/
www.childline.ie/5-reasons-why-its-never-a-good-idea-to-send-nudes/
It is important to continue these open conversations and that your daughter knows she can come to you when needed.
Monitor your child’s mood and well-being and try to continue open contact with the school if your concerns heighten.
It may also be good to help your daughter develop coping strategies to deal with the emotional effects of what is going on for her, it sounds like you have this in mind already by encouraging her to talk about things with you. Childline is here to talk and listen to her about how she is feeling and what is going on for her, it may help her to feel she has someone neutral and out of the situation to talk to also. She can ring 1800 66 66 66 for free or chat to us online at www.chidline.ie
We understand if you would like to talk more about this, you can contact ISPCC’s Support Line which can be contacted by email to [email protected] or by phone from Monday to Friday 9am – 1pm on 01 522 4300 and we can provide further guidance as needed.
Take care,
Robyn
Ask us a question
You can ask us about anything you want, there’s nothing too big or small.