Thanks for reaching out to Ask Robyn with your question.

When a child begins to withdraw, it can be challenging—especially when parents aren’t sure how to respond. A child’s withdrawal can sometimes be a sign of social difficulties, anxiety, sadness, or stress.

Start by speaking with your child in an honest and non-judgemental way. Let them know you’re concerned and that you’ve noticed a change in their behaviour. You might say something like, “I just wanted to check in with you to see how you’re feeling, because I’ve noticed you’ve been spending a lot of time alone lately.” It’s important they know you’re available and willing to listen, but also that you’re not going to pressure them to talk before they’re ready.

It can help to explore any outside factors that may be contributing to their withdrawal. Has school become stressful? Are they having difficulty with friends? Are they feeling overwhelmed by academic pressure? Sometimes, children withdraw when they feel unable to cope with stress.

Offering emotional support and gently involving your child in family activities at a comfortable pace can also be beneficial. Start small—watch a favourite movie together or take part in an activity you know they find relaxing. Children sometimes withdraw when they feel disconnected or misunderstood, so tailoring activities to their interests can help them feel more included.

Here at ISPCC, we offer a free Guided Digital Mental Health Programme, designed to support 15–18-year-olds, as well as parents and caregivers, in managing low-level anxiety. You can find out more here. If your child’s withdrawal continues or worsens, it could indicate a deeper issue such as anxiety or depression. In that case, therapy may provide a helpful space for them to express and work through their feelings.

It’s also important to manage your own reactions and remain patient. Children may need time to understand and process their emotions. Avoid pressuring them to open up, but continue to reassure them that they are loved and supported no matter what they’re going through.

Finally, it’s worth remembering that sometimes a child or teenager may simply want more independence—choosing to spend time with friends or alone is a natural part of growing up. This doesn’t always indicate a problem. However, staying attentive and keeping communication open ensures you’ll be able to respond appropriately if something deeper is going on.

If you’d like to talk more about this, the ISPCC’s Support Line is available by email at [email protected] or by phone on 01 522 4300, Monday to Friday, 9 am to 1 pm. You can let your child know should they like to speak to somebody, for an anonymous, non-judgmental chat, they can phone Childline’s 24-hour service on 1800 66 66 66, or through Live Chat at Childline.ie.

Best wishes,

Robyn