Your Question
How do I help my child. He told me his father slapped him while he stayed at his house, I have delt with tusla before about my ex roaring and scaring him before But because ex has money and I don’t they smile at him and let him off each time. I don’t know who will really help me to help my son. I have told my ex to get anger management or I won’t allow my child back to him. But he can pay solistors to shut me up so I know how it will end. What can I do please
Answer
Hi there,
Thank you for getting in touch with Ask Robyn. It sounds like you and your child are going through a tough time. It is really positive that you have reached out.
First of all, slapping any child, is a form of physical abuse and is illegal in Ireland. The Children First Act (2015) enforced that a person who hits, or physically assaults, a child cannot defend themselves. This law does mean that therefore, hitting any child is illegal, and can lead to prosecution. All children have the right to feel safe and to not be at risk of harm. It can seem overwhelming or daunting to acknowledge that this is illegal and even the impact that it has on a child. It can also feel frustrating when you feel that services have not listened to you or validated the concerns you have expressed. There are programmes and supports out there that help learn alternatives to physical punishment, it may help to discuss these with your child’s father. You can find some of them here: www.barnardos.ie/resources/parents/parenting-courses/ ; www.parentspluscharity.com/parents/
We know you have mentioned being in touch with Tusla already but it may help to contact them again. It is important that they are aware that this abuse is still ongoing. Tusla can offer many supports out there for parents in this area and we would advise getting in touch with your Local Tusla duty social worker with your concerns. You can find further information on how to contact your local office here: www.tusla.ie/get-in-touch/duty-social-work-teams/
Sometimes trying to face these challenges alone makes them a lot more difficult. Do you have a friend or other family member who you can talk to about this? There are some organisations out there that provide support as well; Treoir is an organisation that also provides support for unmarried parents and have support line on their website for parents to talk through their individual situations: www.treoir.ie/
We hope this has been helpful for you and want to encourage you to reach out again if you feel you need further support. If you would like to talk more about this, you can contact ISPCC’s Support Line which can be contacted by email to [email protected] or by phone from Monday to Friday 9am – 1pm on 01 522 4300.
Take care,
Robyn.
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