Your Question
My son is in 3rd class and since Christmas he has been coming home from school so upset, he says that no one sits or plays with him and he seems so low on himself. I’m not sure if he is being bullied or excluded. What should I do?
Answer
Hi there,
Thank you for getting in touch with Ask Robyn. It can be so worrying and upsetting to see your child upset regularly. Bullying and exclusion can significantly impact a child’s wellbeing such as leading to feelings of low mood, low self esteem or anxious feelings. It is important to intervene early if you are concerned about this.
It sounds like he is open with you and that he is able to tell you that he is upset and what is upsetting which are important skills to have. Has he mentioned any specific examples of what happens or if there is a certain child he feels who isn’t being nice to him? It may be best to have a conversation with his class teacher first to explore if they have noticed any changes since Christmas, they may also be able to implement some more structure games and do a lesson on including others in games and even talk about bullying and what bullying looks like. It is best to approach this conversation in a way saying that you are worried about your son and that he is feeling excluded; try not to name any specific peers unless you have a specific example of an incident that happened.
We have some articles on our website that you may find helpful to support you in understanding exclusion and how to have conversations with your son to support him:
www.ispcc.ie/what-to-do-if-your-child-is-facing-social-exclusion/ ; www.ispcc.ie/what-not-to-say-to-a-worried-child-who-is-being-bullied/
If you would like to talk more about this, you can contact ISPCC’s Support Line which can be contacted by email to [email protected] or by phone from Monday to Friday 9am – 1pm on 01 522 4300
Take care,
Robyn
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