My son’s girlfriend wants to have sex

Your Question

Hi robyn My son told me his girlfriend wants sex but he’s not ready says he feels ashamed and nervous cause he’s body conscious and is nervous about communicating

Answer

Hi there,

Thank you so much for getting in touch with Ask Robyn. First of all it is really positive that your son has been able to reach out and discuss what is going on for him with you. These conversations can be uncomfortable and awkward and as parents we can often be unsure of what to say. 

We are unsure what age your son is but it is important that he is aware that legal age for sex in Ireland is 17, so having sex under the age of 17 is illegal. The legal age is 17 as it is important for young adults to be fully informed about all the risks of sex and the consequences of having sex as they mature.  As someone likely under 17, young people are in a vulnerable group because of their stage of development. This affects their ability to make safe decisions and is a crucial time for developing social and emotional habits that are important for mental well being. There’s more information on these laws here: citizensinformation.ie and on https://b4udecide.ie/the-facts/age-of-consent/.  

It is important to have a further conversation with your son about how he feels about it and what might help him with approaching this conversation with his girlfriend. It is important that he feels safe and secure to express himself with her also. 

Thank you again for getting in touch. If you wish to talk about this further you the ISPCC’s Support Line service can be contacted by email to [email protected] or between 9am – 1pm Monday – Friday by calling 01 522 4300. You and your family deserve to feel heard and supported.  

Take care for now,   

Robyn   

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Anxiety levels are rising among exam students and their parents, but ISPCC can help with free webinars

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It’s that time of year again… the spectre of the dreaded exams is looming for students and their parents, but ISPCC can help.

Students aren’t the only ones who need support in the run up to exam time, parents do too.

After all, how can you help your anxious child when you’re feeling anxious yourself? It’s only natural for stresses build up as the exams draw closer and it’s a pressurised time for everyone at home.

A parent or carer can’t help their child if they feel ill-equipped to do so and it can be easy for them to feel as if they have failed their child when they see them suffering from anxiety.

ISPCC is offering two free webinars on coping with exam anxiety – the first is specifically for parents and carers, while the second will focus on young people along with their parents and carers.

The two-part series will focus on explaining what anxiety actually is and how it manifests itself, support for dealing with an anxious child, anxiety management tips and tools and Childline’s Digital Mental Health and Wellbeing programmes, which provide free ongoing support for both young people and their parents.

The first webinar for parents and carers takes place on Monday, May 13, from 7pm to 8pm. The second, which is aimed at young people aged 12 years and over as well as their parents and carers, is on Tuesday, May 14, from 7pm to 7.30pm.

They will be hosted by ISPCC parenting lead Siobhan Harvey and Niamh Clarke, Manager of ISPCC Smart Moves programme, while Bree O’Neill who manages Childline’s Digital Mental Health and Wellbeing programmes will be the keynote speaker.

For more information on the webinar for parents and carers, please click here

To find out more about the webinar aimed at young people, please click here