My son’s girlfriend wants to have sex

Your Question

Hi robyn My son told me his girlfriend wants sex but he’s not ready says he feels ashamed and nervous cause he’s body conscious and is nervous about communicating

Answer

Hi there,

Thank you so much for getting in touch with Ask Robyn. First of all it is really positive that your son has been able to reach out and discuss what is going on for him with you. These conversations can be uncomfortable and awkward and as parents we can often be unsure of what to say. 

We are unsure what age your son is but it is important that he is aware that legal age for sex in Ireland is 17, so having sex under the age of 17 is illegal. The legal age is 17 as it is important for young adults to be fully informed about all the risks of sex and the consequences of having sex as they mature.  As someone likely under 17, young people are in a vulnerable group because of their stage of development. This affects their ability to make safe decisions and is a crucial time for developing social and emotional habits that are important for mental well being. There’s more information on these laws here: citizensinformation.ie and on https://b4udecide.ie/the-facts/age-of-consent/.  

It is important to have a further conversation with your son about how he feels about it and what might help him with approaching this conversation with his girlfriend. It is important that he feels safe and secure to express himself with her also. 

Thank you again for getting in touch. If you wish to talk about this further you the ISPCC’s Support Line service can be contacted by email to [email protected] or between 9am – 1pm Monday – Friday by calling 01 522 4300. You and your family deserve to feel heard and supported.  

Take care for now,   

Robyn   

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